I have been thinking a lot about spanking lately.
I am trying to figure out whether I need to be spanked, or whether I want to be spanked.
I view my spankings as purely discipline, but at the same time I masturbate frequently thinking about them. I masturbate both thinking about the spankings I have received and also imagining spankings I have not yet received.
At the same time that my spankings are fuel for my masturbation, I also want/need my spankings to be intense, even severe. I want, or need, to feel like I have been punished. I want the spanking, or paddling, to be bad enough that I cry. I want them to be so bad that I can not view them as being at all sexual at the time I am receiving one. I want to experience true pain, even agony, and not merely discomfort.
I spend so much time thinking about my spankings, Thinking of what behaviors I can justify receiving a spanking for. Thinking about different ways to be spanked or paddled. Thinking about other forms of discipline and punishment I could receive along with the spanking or paddling.
Female Led Domestic Discipline is something I approached my wife with. I went to her and asked her for it. She was not familiar with the concept and was very hesitant at first. I shared some blog posts about it where it was described by another couple who’s wife disciplines the husband and they scribe it as being very loving and go on to explain how it has improved and strengthened their marriage. After reading that, my wife agreed to give it a try, and has since embraced it. Well almost.
I say my wife has embraced it, but only half heartedly. Since this is not in her nature, I am not sure if she will ever fully buy into being a disciplinarian. I wonder if it is even fair of my to ask her to discipline me knowing she isn’t comfortable with it.
What are your thoughts?
